The school offers the basics on how to dress: bushy eyebrows, white beard, suit that can cost $1,000. Modern Santas also are taught to go easy at the trough–and they’re put through exercise and dance regimens. But what to do when Junior pees on Sa nta’s lap? ““Always keep a towel on your knee,” says one student. Then there are serious ’90s scandals, like Santa who embezzles or Santa who fondles. ““Be careful where you put your hands,” advises dean Thomas Valent. ““Santa doesn’t let teenage girls k iss him on the lips.”
Santas are in demand as never before, but they’re still expected to be on time. If all else fails, says Valent, ““tell kids that Mrs. Claus gave you the wrong directions.” Better yet, he says, pack a cell phone on that sleigh.
